Dear Krishna, the day when you appeared in this world is celebrated as Janmashtami all over the world. This year, 2021, we are celebrating Janmashtami on 30th August. In Bhagavad Gita 8.15, you say that this world is duhkhalayam, abode of miseries. But still you appear here in every millennium because you feel pain when you see us in pain.
But unfortunately, people like me who have chosen to live here do not realize that we are in pain. In fact, our consciousness is so blunted that many times we consider pain as pleasure. Just like a hog who considers stool as a palatable food.
In spite of trying my best I have hardly experienced any happiness in this world. Any success or achievement we get here is always accompanied with fear and anxiety. So, in reality there is no happiness. But in spite of these experiences, I hope again and again of finding happiness in this material world.
My mind is always full of desires. And with a shame I want to admit that all my desires are material. And this is the root cause of all my sufferings.
My wrong desires making me miserable
I do not have desire to take your shelter. Although in Bhagavad Gita 18.66 you say to me through Arjuna that if I take your shelter then you will free me from all my past sins and thus I won’t suffer here. “Abandon all varieties of religion and just surrender unto Me. I shall deliver you from all sinful reactions. Do not fear.” Bhagavad Gita 18.66.
In fact, by taking your shelter I will be freed from all the fear of this world. But still, I fail to follow your instructions. It is because my mind is always overflooded with material desires.
Many times, I have tried to purge all worldly cravings from my mind but again and again I have failed.
You say in Bhagavad Gita that you reciprocate with us as per our desires – ye yathā māṁ prapadyante/tāṁs tathaiva bhajāmy aham. “As all surrender unto Me, I reward them accordingly.” Bhagavad Gita 4.11.
But as I said earlier Krishna, all my desires are wrong desires. And this is the reason that I am living here all alone away from you.
Why I am not able to see you, Krishna?
Although I voluntarily decided to not live with you but you never abandoned me. Right now also you are present in my heart as Supersoul, Paramatma. But because of my contaminated consciousness I cannot see you. A blind person sees darkness everywhere even when the sun is shining bright. Similarly, a spiritually blind person like me fails to see your beautiful effulgent transcendental form although you are here in my heart.
How unfortunate I am. My anarthas (vices) – lust, greed, pride, anger, envy, illusion – is separating me from you. I do not have the power to free myself from these anarthas. Honestly speaking I also do not have much desire to free myself from these anarthas.
Krishna, you are most merciful
Dear Krishna, please be merciful upon me. You have been merciful even to the demons who came to kill you. Putana came to give you poisonous milk, but you removed all the poisons from her milk and gave her the position of a mother in your spiritual kingdom. Who can be more merciful other than you?
Because of my wrong desires my mind has become poisonous and is now not allowing me to devote my life to you. It has made me insane. Although I try to serve you but my powerful mind does not allow me do so.
But why should I blame my mind?
It is me who have misused my free will and allowed the mind to enjoy the so-called pleasures of this world.
Unfortunately, I forgot to control my mind
In the journey of my life I forgot to control my mind. And now my mind controls me. I do not remember the exact date when my mind started overpowering me. But if I try to look back I find that I have always been under the subjugation of my mind. I have been in this material world for many lifetimes. And in each life I have just tried to enjoy the material pleasures through my mind and senses.
And now my mind has become so strong that it refuses to listen to me. It disobeys me. It controls me. I am a puppet of my mind. But I do not want to suffer anymore because of my mind. I am going through these sufferings because of my unholy desires. I know that as soon as I develop the desire to serve you all my misfortune will go away from my life.
All the miseries will disappear just as darkness disappears as soon as the sun appears.
My prayer to Lord Krishna
On this auspicious occasion of Janmashtami I beseech you Krishna to purify my desires. Shower your mercy upon me so that I develop spiritual desire, the desire to constantly serve you. I beg you to purify my heart of all the anarthas which is separating me from you. Dear Lord Krishna, please consider my prayer. I am an ignorant person who does not know what is good for me.
Like a madman in the mental asylum thinks that he is the king of the whole world. Afflicted by my material madness I think I can control my life. But the fact is that I am just a puppet, and you are the puppeteer.
Please take control of my mind and make me your puppet.
Dear Lord Krishna, my prayer at your lotus feet on this auspicious occasion of your appearance day is that please purge my mind of all material thoughts. Let my mind only think of you. Let my mind experience joy in always singing your glories. Let my mind develop distaste for the illusionary pleasures of this temporary world.
Let my mind have only one desire – the desire to serve you every moment of my life, life after life.