Dear Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, Please forgive my audacity that I am daring to write a prayer in your glorification on the auspicious occasion of Gaur Purnima. But I know that you are extremely merciful that you will forgive me for my temerity.
A person becomes qualified to worship the deity of Krishna after second initiation, similarly a person free from all material impurities are qualified to say words in your glorification. Great devotees like Prahlad glorified you with beautiful prayers when you appeared as Lord Narasimhadeva to annihilate Hiranyakasipu. His glorious words were sung by another of your greater devotee, Sukhadeva Goswami, while narrating Srimad Bhagavatam to Parikshit Maharaj when he had just 7 days to live.
Hope
But in spite of all my short comings and my ignorance and my inability to use right words in your praise, I have firm believe that you will hear my cry at your mystical feet. If you will not hear my prayers, then who will hear my prayers. If a father abandons his son, then what is the hope for the son. But we see a father never abandons his son, no matter how mischievous or how foolish he is.
So, please do not abandon me. I am so mischievous that I left you to enjoy in this mortal world where miseries are at every step. I am foolish because in spite of knowing that miseries are everywhere around me, still I have a hope that I will be happy in this world without you.
Saviour of the helpless soul
It is not that I have not tried to be happy in this world by giving up your warm shelter. It is also a proven fact that I have always failed in my attempt of sense enjoyment. But unfortunately, I have never learnt my lessons. Sometimes I do try my best to not enjoy my senses, but my senses are so powerful that they drag me away from your lotus feet. What can I do? I am so helpless without you.
All the great saintly personalities say again and again that you are the saviour of the helpless and hapless souls. Srila Narottama Dasa Thakura in his wonderful prayer say that there is no one as merciful as you are. The acclaimed bhakti poet says that you have come in this world to reclaim the fallen souls and to take them back to the spiritual world.
śrī-kṛṣṇa-caitanya prabhu doyā koro more
tomā binā ke doyālu jagat-saḿsāre
“My dear Lord Caitanya, please be merciful to me, because who can be more merciful than Your Lordship within these three worlds?” Narottama Dasa Thakura
Transcendental touch
Although I am the most fallen, but I am ashamed to admit that I do not consider myself as fallen. My ego, my pride is not allowing me to accept that I have failed to be happy without you, away from you.
Dear Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, my prayer at your lotus feet is to crush my ego, my pride. Through your transcendental touch please burn all the vices from my heart. I beseech you to purify my heart and fill it with transcendental mellow.
My confession
I want to confess to you that I do not like to be in this world anymore. I know somehow my mind tries to convince me to be here and gives me a hope that I can enjoy here. But when I contemplate and when I reflect on the past and when I try to see the future, I do not find any hope for me in this material world.
I know that I am not qualified to return to the spiritual world. Because in the spiritual kingdom only pure devotees reside. An impure soul like me will not get an entry to your kingdom. I am doomed to suffer here because of my impure desires. With my own effort I feel unable to purify my wrong desires.
So, dear Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu, can you please hear my prayer and purify my desires?
The free will
I know the reason for my impure desire is the misuse of my free will. I know the scriptures say that the Supreme Lord does not interfere with anyone’s free will. Although you gave me free will so that I will use it for my own benefit. But unfortunately, I have terribly misused my free will.
Please take away my free will. Please hold my hand tightly, so that I do not go astray. Just like a father does not leave the hand of a child in the middle of the road lest he meets with an accident. Similarly, please do not leave my hand in this material world where there is danger at every step.
Your Shelter
A child does not know what is right for him and what is dangerous for him. Similarly, I do not know what is good for me and what is not good for me. Being the Supreme Lord and the father of all the souls you know what is good for me.
So, please keep on guiding me in my life. Please give me shelter of your lotus feet. Please give me shelter of your sincere devotees so that in their association and guidance I purify my heart and march towards the spiritual sky.
You came for us
You appeared on the day of full moon to spread the transcendental ray of Krishna Consciousness. You appeared in this dark age of Kaliyuga to remove darkness of ignorance from our heart. You gave us to chant the Hare Krishna mahamantra – the mantra of deliverance from all miseries.
You came for us and gave us everything required to perfect our life. But unfortunately, unfortunate soul like me fail to take up your mercy seriously.
Most Merciful Lord
My dear most merciful Lord, please forgive me for my foolishness and stupidity. Again and again, I beg you to purify my heart of all nasty desires and give me intelligence so that I can understand the great value of practicing devotion to you. Please give me determination so that I can practice the process which you gave to us. And please grant me benediction so that I chant the Hare Krishna Mahamantra continuously and happily.
I, Purushottam Nitai Das, again beg forgiveness for my incoherent prayer at your lotus feet. Please give me your shelter.
O most merciful Lord, if you won’t accept a fallen soul like me then who will accept me in the entire universe.
Your insignificant aspiring servant
Purushottam Nitai Das
